Finger Vomit

A title meant simply to mean, my fingers will be dumping lots of thoughts onto this blog. Some will make sense and some will simply be thoughts that have no meaning...all in a soup that if it were an animate object would resemble, well, what the title says.

Thought #1: Making an impact while learning how to make an impact. I volunteer twice a week with a student who is WAY behind his second grade class in reading. It was clear from the beginning of the year that this kid simply didn’t want to read. Turns out it was psychological, he really didn’t want anyone to know he couldn’t so he was putting all his energy into masking this shortcoming. It took about four months to get through this with him but we make the stride and for 120 minutes a week we would sit in the common area of their classroom and he would struggle, but most importantly, try to read. About early March the principle stopped by to see how it was going and quickly pointed out some mistakes he had made while reading aloud. It was like you could take the calendar and move it back to September. He freaked out, truly believing the principal was going to tell his teacher, who was going to tell the students, who were going to tell their friends, etc. To me it was a principal who knew the test dates were coming up and wanted to gain an idea of the boy was progressing…and when simple mistakes were made she wanted them correctly immediately. It has turned into my first example of teaching vs. district bureaucracy. I understand both sides, but it is tough to deal with. My connection with this student is more a “someone you can trust relationship” than reading teacher. He knows how to read but doesn’t feel comfortable with how people will react if he gets stuck not knowing a work or punctuation mark. It seems to clear how he is going to move forward and catch up to the other kids, and Ayers hit it right on the nose with the idea that “kids learn at their own pace”. Give him a chance and he will learn it.

Thought #2: In one of my classes, we have been asked to put a small slide show together with images that parley our feelings about teaching without words. I found this enjoyable as it was the first time I really tried to put my emotional draw to this profession into 5 words. I scribbled down a bunch of words but the first five stuck as the ones I was going to use. Teamwork, sportsmanship, positive energy, something I can’t remember right now, and goals goals goals. I already know that using multimedia is going to be one of my teaching methods in the classroom. In particular making little mini movies, but also slide shows of events the students either experience themselves personally or see on the news each day. It will be a way of creating a memory and “thinking” about what that memory means to you. In other words, I want my students to learn from your daily life experience. Coupled to this assignment was to ask us to put down an autobiography of our life from an educational perspective. These assignments are helping me, at least, hone in on the precise reasons we are embarking on this journey. We feel it is right, but now we are tapping these emotions as to why. For me, I’ve been surprised that a big pull in my life is to relive my childhood. There are so many things I would do differently (stand up for myself, ask more questions, not profess my love for a 3rd grade girl, and most importantly, relax more). I want to impart the knowledge I’ve gained in 33 years of live to people that could use some guidance. The biggest push I have is for students to see the world, either through the lens of someone else’s camera, through the reading of a book, or with their own eyes. But understand what it out there, why it is out there, and enjoy it.

Thought #3: (From another class, but something I want to journal about). We studied social groups in my class this evening (Nerds, trendies, punks, etc). I was amazed at how much this topic affected lots of people in the class. It seems every thought dealt with a personal trauma experienced by one of my classmates. It is clear this issue of social hierarchy has been around for awhile and is still very much a part of schooling. More than that, it is a part of schooling that seems to get in the way of the core reason students are there to begin with. Everyone gets embarrassed, but we all react differently to it. We all feel emotions when people get teased, but we respond differently to it. This subject will be big for me specifically if I teach in a 5th or 6th grade classroom because seeing the reactions of my fully adult classmates tonight, the effects of this type of treatment (bullying if you will) can carry will into adulthood. I want to know how to keep it at a minimum and cultivate a school where people have an outlet to shed the negative feelings to someone they can trust.

Thought #4: I am amazed how much reading I have busted through in 3 weeks, easily over 1000 pages of education theory and ideas. I have to assume I remember about 30 of these pages but we’ll see as the quarter progresses how I use some of this knowledge. The first one that comes to mind is when the principal of the school comes to me during my first year and says “Don’t expect too much from these students”, I’m ready to say “Don’t worry Ms. Principal, these kids will want to come back next year. In fact, they’ll insist on it.”