Beyond the point on no return

This was the first week where my personal life and my “new career” began to butt heads. I am choosing to write this in my blog because it is something I will have to grapple with many times over the next couple years as I am focusing on getting started in teaching. The issue is priorities! Reorganizing them, restructuring them, and rewriting them. I made the decision to become a teacher by myself and I am beginning to run into the problems that come with going back to school and what that does to a family unit. I think about how I will function in my classroom with the weight and stress of personal issues pulling from all angles…all calling for action now!! My entire life a huge priority was to make sure the people in my life were happy, even if making others happy put me in a position of not being happy. Now as I charge into the journey of following a dream of mine, it is putting people in my life in a non happy situation, and I am really feeling the pressure of this. I’ll be curious how it plays out over the next four weeks as the end of quarter projects add to the pile that is already growing on my shoulders. My plan…take two hours a day to devote entirely to school work. That to me is MY time and I need to make sure it is a priority. Check back with me next week and we’ll see where my shoulders stand.

On with my blog!! Oh Magpie!! I read this (Can’t Play) book at the beginning of the quarter and absolutely love the idea of simply making it a classroom no-no to tell someone they can’t play with you. Paley makes it clear that kids learn through playing and if the kids who feel they can control who plays the games get their way, in effect they are controlling who gets to learn. When I think about the situation in my classroom, I would love to become the reporter and ask the five basic questions of the “target” that was rejected: What game do you want to play? Why do you want to play it? How does it make you feel to be told you cannot play it? Who was it that informed you that you cannot play? Where are they playing the game?
Assuming I had the time to ask these question of the child, I would attempt to start a little game myself of “classroom reporter” and make it educational for them, as well as get to the heart of the emotions they are feeling. I would also want to ask the rejecter why they didn’t want so and so to play. As adults we know there is a lot more to the story and I would want it to come out for the kids to hear “well Jesse doesn’t know what he’s doing”, or “Jake smells”. This is information that could be used to come up with a compromise, or a correction of the truth. Actually, as I am writing this I am beginning to see how elementary my thoughts are on these subjects. There is so much more psychology to these interactions than I am aware…so let’s gets back to the book.
The teacher researched feedback on this idea for many months, even taking the rule to older students to get their feedback. She had seen the rejection going on for so long that she knew there had to be some way to curb the negative emotions. The older kids made it clear that the emotions got worse as they got older and the divide between those with social power vs. those who feel threatened in social situations only gets wider after it starts. So why not keep it from starting?

Social interaction is critical for people in this society. Learning in kindergarten how to say yes, no, thank you, no thank you, and how to stand up for yourself are all key experiences to have. If they start off negative, the child will quickly develop coping mechanisms to mask the hurt they are feeling, and they avoid similar situations in the future. I know I don’t want my kids seeing something they know they would love to do, but feel that it isn’t worth the pain of asking if they can do it. I would want to teach my classroom students how to express what it is they want. How, I don’t have the foggiest idea!!

Would I do feel comfortable with is the idea that I would have established themes about classroom community at the beginning of the school year, and that keeping someone from being involved in anything is not in line with that theme…therefore is not welcome in my classroom. Showing kids how to get across the feelings associated with the reaction is a start in the right direction. “Jesse, we would love to have you join us but we are concerned that you are unfamiliar with the game and we are close to finishing this round. How about if you watch us wrap it up and we can… (Come to a resolution)?” I know it sounds cheesy but it is expressing feelings in a positive way. If as a teacher I am able to do this effectively with my students, I would expect them to work at it as well.

Finally I want to mention this poem project that I have been working on for the past two days. I am so curious how the rest of the class is going to open up to the group. I want to share some funny things about my life as well as mention a couple items from my past that I think others can relate, but I know people might want to open up a LOT more and I wonder if the class is ready for that. If someone mentions they were at the end of their rope and wanted to end it all but then they were accepted to the UW Bothell teaching program…are we ready to support that person the way they need it? I have been through that before and it turned out great, but it changed the way people interacted with the person. Anyway, I’m hoping the class likes my little ditty, I know my 4 year old did (even though I didn’t even mention her).

Cheerio.